Some friends had their baby recently. As the wife, I make the congratulatory call to the hospital. As the nosey friend, I make the new dad tell me all the details of the birth from when new mom’s water broke up to when the baby was born.
Me: Glad to hear everyone is doing great. Try to get some rest in the hospital because you know, the nurses don’t come home with you. Trust me, they cannot be bribed, even with cash.
New Dad: Yea, it’s been a long two days. We are both a couple hours behind on our sleep now.
Me: You might want to stop calculating that because you’ll be in the red for at least the next year.
M: Seriously? That’s a bummer, we like to sleep.
Me: Yea, you might want to find a new hobby.
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